Airline etiquette: Can you ask someone to swap seats on a plane?

Did you hear the one about the guy - let's call him Jay Kloss because that's his name - who lost his mind on TikTok because he'd been on a flight where a man wouldn't change seats with him? A furious Jay was flying Virgin business class with girlfriend Zoe, but they found themselves separated. She was seated at the window, he was on the opposite aisle in the same row. When he asked the man sitting next to Zoe if he could switch, the man refused. Well, he said he'd be happy to swap into Zoe's window seat, but she's not a good flyer so that didn't suit the couple.

In his rant, Jay described the man as a, well, it rhymes with duck mitt. "I wanted to slap him," he went on. Eventually the passenger sitting next to Jay swapped with Zoe, but should they have?

As it happens, airlines require passengers to stay in allocated seats for take-off and landing.

"Passenger seats are allocated to ensure weight is distributed evenly across the aircraft," said a Virgin spokesperson. "Guests should speak with cabin crew before changing seats on board. Our team will do their best to accommodate requests where possible, in line with our cabin safety standards."

And, as a Qantas spokesperson said, where you sit isn't left up to the plane gods.

"You can select your seat on Qantas-operated flights when making a booking, or any time before you fly," they said. "A charge may apply, depending on the seat type selected."

It's the same for nearly every airline operating within Australia. It's particularly important to pre-select seats if you're travelling with children. No one wants to split up a family, but if you leave check-in until the airport, there may be no other option, and you shouldn't rely on other passengers to get you back together.

Some people may agree to your request to swap, but they're under no obligation, says Monika Walczak of the School of Modern Etiquette in Canberra.

"Swapping seats on a plane should be a rare occurrence, not a default expectation," she says. "While air travel often puts us in close quarters with strangers, it's crucial to maintain respect and consideration for others' comfort and preferences.

"What's most important to remember is that it's not appropriate to expect other passengers to adjust their plans for your preferences.

"You can certainly make a polite request to another passenger to swap seats, but if their answer is no, accept it gracefully. A simple apology for the interruption and moving on to enjoy your flight in your assigned seat is the politest course of action."

And you certainly shouldn't then moan about them on social media.

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