Neighbourhood watch: A sleeper hit in Melbourne's Docklands

The carnival is in full swing, with a bowling alley and shooting gallery crashing and firing, a quartet revving up for a motorbike race around the Pyramids, the bar is pumping and screams from the zombie attack add a macabre overlay to the night.

It's not a circus as you'd know it, but the Archie Brothers Cirque Electriq is just one of the many surprises I've discovered in Melbourne's Docklands district tonight. Long considered the city's great white elephant, Docklands could have an image problem, if anyone ever thought about it long enough.

"I thought if one area in Melbourne could survive not having people there for a while [during the pandemic], it would be the Docklands," quipped Melbourne comedian Dave Hughes at this year's Melbourne Comedy Festival. "No one's ever gone to the Docklands!" And we all laughed knowingly.

So it may be a leap of faith that the Nesuto brand chose the Docklands for its Victorian debut. Or is it?

It's ironic that this part of the city, just 20 minutes' walk from Southern Cross Station, should remain in Melbourne's blind spot. Yet, on a 24-hour blitz in the district, I've bedded down at a new hotel, hit steak night in an urban brewery, gone ice skating, played glow-in-the-dark mini golf, morphed into an astronaut, enjoyed waterfront dining and hit the gaming arcade.

But first, to the hotel. The new, $100-million Nesuto is designed by Fender Katsalidis Architects, known locally for Melbourne's cloud-bursting Eureka Tower, and the world's second-highest skyscraper, the new Merdeka 118 in Kuala Lumpur. This is the 14th Nesuto in Australasia, with two more in the offing, and the Melbourne property will set the benchmark as the flagship for the apart-hotel brand, owned by Japanese firm Daiwa Living.

Some would call the entrance "discreet" - they're not blowing any trumpets. Once you slip into the glossy black-marble entrance at street level, it's a lift ride to the second-floor reception, a warm, serene lobby-lounge. There's herbal tea on offer, tasteful ceramics lining the walls and a living-room vibe. The hotel has 211 studio, one and two-bedroom apartments over 13 floors. Each has a full kitchen and laundry, and a hotel gym for those who really must. My one-bedroom apartment on the 11th floor looks out to the Bolte Bridge - you could just about reach out and touch the defunct Melbourne Star from my balcony, which glows prettily at night, but does little else.

There's no restaurant or room service here, but travellers will appreciate the convenience of having Woolies and Dan Murphy's on the floors below - and with wine glasses, plates and cooking utensils at the ready, self-catering doesn't have to mean dry crackers and water.

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But if visions of washing up while on holidays send your eyes rolling to the back of your head, the restaurant strip in the District Docklands precinct next to the hotel offers ramen and Turkish street food, churros and chocolate, and a Greek restaurant, Yassas, which promises to serve its casual menu "the Greek way". One can only guess.

The Urban Alley Brewery is busy on $25 steak night, and we squish our noses against the brewhouse's windows as it knocks out a range of ales, lagers and even a fruity sour. The brewery is opposite the Archie Brothers Cirque Electriq, which I've earmarked for all future tween/teen parties, although tonight, the bowling alley and racing bikes are all filled with grown-ups on a Drive to Survive adrenalin rush.

It's also near ArtVo's "trick-art" gallery, which sees us hanging from cliffs, floating in outer space, kissing King Kong or sitting in a giant glass of wine - life imitates art? - I cannot stress enough that you need to be well dressed and do your make-up for ArtVo. It's all about selfies, and if you're not comfortable taking a selfie, then return to the previous paragraph.

The next morning sees me rattling around in the kitchen in my apartment for a cup of tea before splurging on an exotic breakfast at the Daybreak Cafe beneath the hotel. With my tween and friends, we load our table with tiramisu pancakes and matcha French toast. Uncharacteristically, I step past the Eggs Benny, with its pulled pork and yuzu-spritzed hollandaise sauce for the scallop scrambled eggs with crustacean chilli oil and egg-floss crumb.

It's a bold, bold breakfast that fuels me for spin around the ice-skating rink, five minutes' walk away.

Did you know that O'Brien Icehouse has not one, but two Olympic-sized ice rinks? Which means our little group can cordon off an area where we skate gingerly across the ice, legs splayed like new-born foals, without being steamrolled by a visiting high-school group. I can confidently say that after 30 minutes, while we're not exactly Torvill or Dean, we are no longer in fear of icy faceplants. Open 354 days a year, it's the home of the city's two ice-hockey teams, Melbourne Ice and Melbourne Mustangs, which fill the 1000-seat stadium when they clash.

The final reason why I don't understand why Docklands isn't on the map is that it's a waterfront suburb, and our last eatery, Berth, hangs over the Yarra River at Newquay Promenade, a hop-skip from the hotel. Cold outside with views to central Melbourne, the dining room is sun-soaked, which justifies all the prosecco and spritzes going down around me. I'm playing it nice and opt for a mocktail and swordfish with chickpea yoghurt salad, instead of a 1.2kg tomahawk off the grill to round off the day.

My Nesuto-inspired, 24-hour blitz of the Docklands has shown me a different side of the city, with good vibes and no queues. And, actually, I kind of like it that way. Maybe we should just keep our little secret...

Getting there: Nesuto Docklands is a 10-minute ride from Southern Cross Station on the No. 86 tram or the No. 70 City Circle sightseeing tram.

Staying there: Rooms at Nesuto Docklands cost from $350 per night, but its website has rooms as low as $198. Includes WiFi and no charge if you cancel up to 6pm on the day of check-in. See nesuto.com

Explore more: thedistrictdocklands.com.au; visitmelbourne.com

The writer was a guest of Nesuto Docklands.