One Easter when she was seven years old, Nicole Mondon's father snuck into her bedroom and sexually abused her while she squeezed her eyes closed.
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He then preyed on her relentlessly for years.
He said she was a liar when she asked for help. She fled home when she was just 13, fell into taking drugs, and had violent boyfriends.
Ms Mondon carried the shame with her for decades. But it was never hers to bear.
When Ms Mondon finally took to the witness box in Newcastle District Court in the trial of her biological father, Colin George O'Toole, she felt something seismic shift.
There was a sense of pride. Like what she had been through was proof of how deeply he had hurt her and how strong she had been to survive.
"Whatever you say about me, whoever I was, whatever I did, that's evidence. You did that to me," she said.
A former businessman in Lake Macquarie, in NSW's Hunter region, O'Toole was sentenced in September, at age 62, to 15 years in jail with a non-parole period of 10 years, after a jury found him guilty of 14 sexual abuse offences against three children.
The victims - his biological daughter Ms Mondon, family friend Jessica Rosagrata and a third child, Grant, who requested just his first name be used - were aged between seven and 14 when they were abused between 1994 and 2005.
O'Toole had already been found guilty of having sexual intercourse with the teenage babysitter, Tracie Grant, after an earlier separate trial.
Victims of child sexual abuse are protected by NSW laws that mean they cannot be identified for their own privacy.
But in a powerful show of unity and defiance, Ms Mondon, Ms Grant, Ms Rosagrata and Grant have bravely stepped out of the shadows to share their story and shine a light on sexual abuse.
"Some people may struggle being so vulnerable, whereas I have just been so desperate my whole life to be heard," Ms Mondon said.
Ms Mondon said she told family members what was happening to her. She told other adults in the school community. She even reported it to the police and child protection services as a young girl.
During O'Toole's sentencing, the court heard he had blatantly lied about the horrific things he did to his eldest daughter, including to the authorities and her own family, to protect himself and ostracise her.
It was a rare case where the physical and psychological damage O'Toole inflicted was so significant that it was treated as an aggravating factor in his sentencing.
"It crushed me. It destroyed me as a human. It destroyed my experience of life. It affects me as a friend, as a family member, as a mother, as a wife," Ms Mondon told ACM from her home in Cooranbong in NSW's greater Newcastle region.
"Everyone knew. And it was OK. It was more OK than it wasn't OK."
As the abuse escalated, Ms Mondon made the difficult decision to flee her house when she was 13 years old. She said she spent the next 20 years feeling lost and unheard.
"Nobody cared. Nobody. I was safer out on the street than I was in my own home," she said.
"I was innocent, I was young, I was vulnerable, I was alone.
"Very quickly it spiralled into homelessness and drug use, and you carry the shame of that. But I wasn't a drug-user because I wanted to be. I was hurt. I was hurt and there was nothing to fix that."
Now, Ms Mondon is a homeowner and in a loving marriage after meeting her husband in 2013. She knows she is a great mum to her children, is in consistent therapy, and she has seen the justice system at work.
But the healing journey is not easy and is never over.
"I remember my first time being abused, the first time I told a teacher, when I moved out of home. All those ages are quite significant to me, and I've already watched my kids grow up at some of those ages, and it becomes tricky and challenging as a mum today to navigate those feelings," she said.
The trajectory of her life changed forever in about 2019 when she was connected with a Lake Macquarie detective who she felt truly believed in her and the case.
"I think a big part of this ... is finding a detective who is passionate, who believes in you, who wants to do the work and the investigation," Ms Mondon said.
For the first time, she felt like what happened to her mattered to someone. She said she knew prosecuting historical sexual abuse would be an uphill battle, but the two detectives she worked closely with were tireless in their pursuit for justice.
"We carried all these pieces with us, but when we gave them to [the detectives], it became evidence," she said.
Fearful there were others like her, Ms Mondon tracked down former babysitter, Ms Grant, and passed her details onto police. She ended up being a victim of O'Toole. Now the two are like sisters, bonded forever.
O'Toole was arrested at Windermere Park in December 2021.
He was sentenced in October 2024 for having sexual intercourse with Ms Grant, a person then aged between 10 and 16, to a two-year good behaviour bond and community service.
After the second separate trial in May 2025, O'Toole was found guilty of six counts of aggravated indecent assault, six of sexual intercourse with a child aged between 10 and 16, and two of indecently assaulting a child under 10. O'Toole will become eligible for release in July 2035.
Those charges related to Ms Mondon, Ms Rosagrata, and Grant.
They each gave harrowing victim impact statements detailing the trail of destruction O'Toole had left, before leaving court and saying there was no more hiding.
Ms Mondon and Ms Grant told the ACM they felt strongly about accountability and wanted to empower others to speak up and keep fighting.
Ms Mondon said she sometimes felt guilty that her abuser was in jail when so many others were walking free or did not get the same outcomes in court.
"Even if we can help one person go make a report, or not feel like ending their life, or feel like they're not alone ... just one small thing feels worth it," Ms Mondon said.
A psychiatrist once asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up.
"It makes me so emotional because I don't have an answer. I was just surviving. It just makes me so emotional that I missed out on such basic human experiences," she said.
"I hope that there are reasons that I am here doing this."
The NSW Police Force has a dedicated Child Abuse Squad that investigates and exposes some of the worst offenders in the state. About 85 per cent of the team's work, or more, is investigating sexual abuse.
- Support is available for those who may be distressed. Phone Lifeline 13 11 14; MensLine 1300 789 978; Kids Helpline 1800 551 800; beyondblue 1300 224 636; 1800-RESPECT 1800 737 732.
- Contact police by attending or calling a station; call Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000; make a report online; or call triple zero (000) in an emergency.
